Tag Archives: past

Burn

 “Burn leaves in autumn.  Burn sage and sweet-grass to purify your room and yourself.  Burn the old pictures, the old letters, the old papers that no longer mean anything.  Burn candles everywhere, inside and out, in glass holders and old pie tins and in seashells on window sills and counters and tabletops.  Cast into the fire those feelings and attitudes that no longer serve you.  Feel them disintegrate.  Watch how the smoke curls.  Burn off anger in small doses.  Don’t wait for a meltdown.  Create the hearth that contains and focuses your inner fire.  Burn the dinner and then laugh about it.  If it’s necessary for your self-survival, yes, burn a bridge every now and then.  Just make sure you’re safely on one side or the other before you do.”  ~ Rachel Snyder

Well, what do you think?  Should one engage in the exhilarating act of pyromania in an effort to clear themselves of the past and start fresh?  Is it rational to treat parts of our past like an overgrown forest that needs the focus of a controlled burn to make room for new growth?  Have you ever burned your past?

This is my controlled burn.  I’m choosing carefully what fuel I will add to my fire.  I have rifled through the boxes and envelopes and bins and gathered up the refuse of my past.  I won’t miss it.  I won’t look for it later and wonder why I let it go.  This fire has been smouldering for  years, and my mistake was not feeding it when it started.

I won’t hang on to regret, it only weighs me down.  I won’t rely on hindsight to rationalize what has already happened, it only makes me mad.  I will NOT shoulder the burden of everyone’s reactions to my path; it’s my life.  I will let go of what once was and stop asking myself why it isn’t anymore.  The past is no place to linger.

I’m burning.  I’m piling it up and setting it ablaze.  Nothing says ‘I’m done’ like a big-assed bon fire.

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Birthday Thoughts

Today is my birthday.  I’m not doing anything special, just the usual Sunday chores and putterings, but I have been thinking about the last year of my life and what it means for my future.

This time last year I was celebrating with friends, severing a very caustic relationship, and navigating my way carefully into someone’s life.  The year has been cathartic, cleansing.  I have managed to make the tough decisions necessary for me to be happy, and I don’t have any regrets.  I’m different now, but somehow I am exactly the way I was meant to be; happy.

Often times birthdays cause people to think back on their lives and sum up their accomplishments and failures; not me.  I am taking this day to look toward the future and embrace every change that I have orchestrated over the past year.  I have often said that change is difficult, but I believe it is necessary if we are to open our lives to new paths and new adventures.

The season of my discontent is over, and I can finally see things more clearly.  I breathe in each day and all its newness.  I am no longer afraid of the turns my life will take.  I am not looking back anymore; I’m not critiquing my actions of the past.  I am leaving what’s done where it belongs; behind me.

It’s my birthday, and I have given myself the greatest gift of all; my happiness.