Tag Archives: identity

Soften

 “Drop your shoulders and soften your stance.  Be softer with yourself, more forgiving.  Soften your approach.  Allow yourself to be vulnerable, to be interdependent, to receive as well as give.  Turn off the computer and write with a pencil, a piece of chalk, or a crayon.  Try not to be so hard on yourself.  Soften the shape of your body.  Let shoe five or ten pound come back and round out those boyish edges that are nota at all becoming.  Carry a woman’s body.  Speak a bit more softly; walk across the floor more softly.  Wear something that flows: a skirt, a blouse, a dress, a scarf.  Wrap a sarong around your middle.  Resist the urge to sound like the men at the office or the boys in the class or the guys on the team.  Give at least equal time to your softer, feminine nature, and feel its power.  The power is yours when you soften.”  ~ Rachel Snyder

I am a hard woman.  I have always considered myself hard and rigid, and I attributed it to circumstance and situation. Well, as life would have it, circumstance and situation have changed again, and I now have the opportunity to be soft.

Soft. Not a quality I have always embraced or even shared with others. Soft. Learning to calm my frustrations and let the little things stay little. Soft. Slowing down a bit and actually not caring about the time of day. Soft. Trusting that showing the softness of my soul will not cause me pain. Soft.

The shift from hard to soft is sometimes strange, but mostly it’s reassuring.  I don’t have to give up my strength; I can round off the rough edges and still be a force to reckon with when it is necessary.  Maybe showing all the things that rest in each facet of my identity isn’t really about picking and choosing what I let others see; maybe it’s about finding a balance between all of my parts.