Category Archives: LGBTQ

She

 I know of no other like her.  I’m pulled up each day by the thought of her.  The smile that warms me, the eyes that read all my secrets, the caress of her fingers against my cheek, the sound of her breath in my ear as she sleeps in my arms; no other is like her.

We met by chance, luck.  She was warm and welcoming, full of laughter and a new-found friendship.  She made me laugh, she made me think, she helped me not take myself so seriously.  That chance meeting would send us on a path of friendship that grew with each new day, regardless of the distance and time that separated us.  Years would pass before we would stand together again, but when we finally did; she made me laugh, she made me think, she helped me not to take myself so seriously.

I survived the dismantling of my life, and there she was again.  She listened to my fears and my dreams, she calmed my weary heart, she opened my eyes to my new life.  I felt this feeling growing inside of me, this pull, this attraction.  I pretended it was all a consequence of circumstance; it couldn’t be real. I was so wrong.  She was inside me, walking around in all the dark corners I had kept hidden from the world for so many years; lighting each new room with her tender way.  I tried to ignore it, but it was stronger than I realized.

Standing in the entranceway of her apartment, nerves turning me inside out, sweating, shaking, fumbling over my words.  A whisper, “Come here.”  A kiss.  One kiss to wash away my fears and confirm what was waiting inside my heart.  One kiss to show her how much she means to me.  One kiss to bind us together.  One kiss to start a journey in motion that just keeps getting better.

There is no other woman like her.  She is patient with my fears and gentle with my heart.  I feel her stare and I blush.  She touches me and I melt.  She is the love of my lifetime, and there is no other like her.

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Kids being kids?

 Bullying: the habitual badgering and intimidation of people perceived as weaker or less deserving of respect.

There is a ton of talk about the bullying of LGBT students in schools across the United States. Some people would have you believe that it isn’t happening, it’s just the insecurities of a certain group of people, and nothing more. Political figures would have you believe that the specific bullying of LGBT students doesn’t happen because those students are gay, it happens because kids will be kids.  I don’t agree. Bullying exists because some people in this world don’t like those who appear to be different from themselves.

Let’s think about this for a minute.  A bully is someone who picks on another person, either through emotional or physical intimidation, based on another person’s differences.  Now, knowing that, why is it so difficult to believe that children would act in such a manner?  Adults act like that, and we impart our perspective to the children in our lives every day.  I fail to understand why some people actually think that bullying is simply kids being kids.

We’ve seen this before…  In the 60s, the tension between blacks and whites reached an all time high.  Intimidation, hate speech, physical attacks, discrimination; all thrown onto a group of people because they were different, the minority.  Fortunately, after some time and serious struggle, laws were enacted to protect those individuals of difference.  Now move forward to 2012 and the ever-growing tensions between heterosexuals and homosexuals.  Intimidation, hate speech, physical attacks, discrimination; all thrown onto a group of people because they are different; the minority.

How is now different from then?   It isn’t.


Eat Your Fucking Brussel Sprouts!

I am fed-up with all of the so-called Christian groups in this country acting like hateful asshats.  That’s right, I called them asshats.  I’m pissed off, so you’ll have to forgive me.

The most recent group to pop up on my radar is the One Million Moms. The One Million Moms (OMM) claims that they are “dedicated to saving our young people” and their mission is to save the children.  Ok listen, I’m all for saving children and protecting our youth, but since when is preaching hatred and bigotry a realistic way to help guide the young people of this country.  Yes I know, Hitler managed to indoctrinate thousands of young Germans with his Hitler Youth organization that touted propaganda and fear as a means of controlling a country, but this is not 1939 and it sure as hell isn’t Germany.

I live in America.  This country is supposed to be the melting pot of all nations.  What the fuck happened to us?  Why do we hate each other so damn much?  When did Americans decide to turn on each other instead of banding together and supporting each other in difficult times?  When is it going to stop being okay for people to treat each other like shit solely on the basis of who they love or the color of their skin or what language they speak?  Why is it so difficult to just shut your friggin’ pie hole and let people live their lives without having to constantly worry that they will be attacked or evicted or fired from their job because someone  doesn’t like  the way they live, who they love or what they believe?  I’ve fucking had it!

I see a serious lack of compassion and understanding from organizations that profess they are merely spreading their Christian love and values in an effort to make the world a better place.  These people hide behind a false god and use their religion as a weapon to degrade  those of us who might not agree with their way of thinking.  They preach a religion of propaganda that is intended to dehumanize the people they don’t see as being fit to receive the basic human decency that ALL people deserve.

I am an American, and I am also a daughter, a writer, a mother, a lesbian, a sister and a teacher.  I am  so many things, and I fail to understand how I can be singled out as having caused the downfall of this nation when I preach no hate, make no threats and encourage a sense of tolerance in all areas of my life.   What is it about me that makes me so dangerous in the eyes of the One Million Moms?  Why am I forced to defend my life when all I want to do is have an honest and fair existence like everyone else?   I don’t care if you’re a democrat or a republican.  I don’t care if you like me or the way I am living my life.  I don’t fucking care what religion you observe or what color your skin is.  All I ask is that you stop, take a breath, and think about what you are doing.  Think about all of the amazing people you condemn and dismiss on a daily basis simply because their beliefs are different from yours.  We can not all be like-minded individuals, we need diversity in our society in order to grow; both spiritually and mentally.  What we can be, is tolerant.   It doesn’t cost you anything, you won’t lose anything or have to give up anything if you consciously choose to be tolerant.

Look at it like this… Tolerance is kind of like brussel sprouts. They are bitter and mushy, and no amount of cheese sauce makes them any easier to eat. As kids, we push them around our plate and hope that they will just magically disappear, but something interesting happens once you finally get them down; over time, you start to realize how good they are for you, and you eventually go back for more until brussel sprouts are just a normal part of dinner.  Practicing tolerance is the same; it isn’t easy at first and you think you might not be able to handle all of the individuality you are confronted with, but eventually you start to realize that the differences you see in others are actually something to be respected and applauded.  Eventually you start to see those differences, not as a threat, but as something that’s actually good for you.

So come on America, eat your fucking brussel sprouts.


Easy

Since when does a relationship have to be hard work in order to be good?

Why do people stay in relationships that require so much work, so much struggle?

Why can’t people just accept the good things that come with being in love and move forward in a manner that continues to cultivate the reason it all started?

 

About eight months ago I embarked on an adventure in my heart, one with all the bells and whistles. We started our relationship as friends, and then one day, one kiss, I knew where I wanted my heart to live for the next 50 years.  I waited a lifetime for someone to take me as I am; no conditions, no demands, just me as I am.  Now I have this wonderful girl in my life, and I continually marvel at how easy it is with her.  I look at her and my knees go weak.  I hear her voice and my day is bright.  I feel her hand in mine and I am swept away. I don’t have the fear and worry that often accompanies the huge steps in every relationship; marriage, mortgage, moving.  Each step I have taken with her has been easy, and I have this feeling, way down in my gut, that it will always be easy with her.

Now before everyone starts chiming in with their two cents about “honeymoon stages” and the idea that all relationships start out with a rush of ease that never lasts, I want you to stop and think for a minute; what is the level of ease in your current relationship?  Has it changed since that first kiss?  If so, why?

All I know right now is this; I’m in love, and it’s easy. It’s so easy.


Everyone is doing it…

The other day I posted a video on my friend’s Facebook page in an effort to give her a laugh.  The video was titled “Shit Straight Girls Say to Lesbians”, and it was simply intended to throw her a smile in the middle of a stressful day.  Sadly, the video was ill-received by one of her friends and a small battle ensued.  Her friend told me to “fuck off”, called me a “bitch” and then told me to “get that chip off my shoulder”.  Needless to say, I was a bit shocked at her response.  Her basic contention is that “everyone jokes about everyone and everyone needs to lighten up and quit being so…unwilling to give anyone the benefit of the doubt.”   I do not  agree.

In this day and age, the joking and mockery that occurs between different social groups is a huge problem.  People try to excuse hurtful and ugly speech by saying ‘it was a joke’, but that doesn’t make the speech any less hateful.  I understand that being a lesbian is not something all people will accept about me, but the truth is I don’t need anyone’s blessing to live my life the way I choose; open and honest.  The fact that my life is used as fodder for other people’s laughter is not something I appreciate or excuse, and I don’t give people the benefit of the doubt when they don’t even know me.

The video I posted from YouTube did make me laugh, because I have heard those statements from straight girls for years.  The friend I shared the video with is also a lesbian and I knew she could relate to the clear and present idiocy of the post, thereby evoking a laugh.  Everyday gays and lesbians are confronted with the same kind of behavior seen on the video, and while it does make me laugh, it doesn’t change the fact that I still cringe after years of hearing comments about how I should try penis and dress more like a girl.

The girl’s comment about “everyone makes fun of everyone” reminds me of what my mother used to say to me when I would use that excuse as a child; just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean you have to do it too.  Here is a news flash for those of you who think “everyone is doing it”; everyone is NOT making fun of everyone.  Most people are just trying to live their lives the best they can, despite the daily onslaught of criticism and negativity they receive from others.  Do everyone a favor and think before you speak; take a minute and put yourself in place of the group you are commenting about and then decide if you still want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt; I doubt you will.


Shhhh….This isn’t really a secret

I am not a hot, twenty-something, butch lesbian with a long list of sexual conquests and a twat in every port.  Nope.  I am a middle-aged, slightly out of shape, soft butch just trying to keep my head above the proverbial rip tides of my life. I am a one woman kind of woman.  I am not trendy and hip. I will not regale you with stories of hot nights at the club and mornings of confusion about whose bed I am in.  I am a teacher, a homebody, a do-it-yourselfer, a hopeful romantic who still writes love letters the old-fashioned way; with pen and paper.    I don’t take shit from people who haven’t earned the right to dish it to me.  I drink beer from the bottle and smoke cigars with my scotch.   I can’t concentrate if my kitchen is messy.  I am not afraid of change, but I struggle with the speed at which it occurs.  I always root for the underdog, and yes it’s true; I DO sleep with a nightlight.   In short, I am a  woman on her own mission to make her own path in her own time and on her own terms.

So put the whole chunk of  lesbian information and misinformation you have in your brain on a shelf for a while and just relax, take a deep breath and read; you will know me soon enough.

My not-so-secret secret is out.  Spread the word.